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Author Topic: How to get out of shopping
Lance Snyder Made Donation to Website
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Region: Atlanta
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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like
most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
following letter from the local Walmart.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.' This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money..

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming

the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
the clerks passed out.

--------------------
All this has happened before, and will happen again

Qik Nip Verified Driver Made Donation to Website Series Champ
Loose Member '09 & '10 Great Lakes Regional Points Champion

Region: Cincinnati Great Lakes
Car #: 60
Year : 1990
Posts: 1487
Status: Offline
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You mean there's something besides Mobil 1 to buy in a WallMart?
Rick

--------------------
Fortune Cookie Racing SM 60
Directions for use: Race, Rumple, Repair ... Repeat!

jbenoit28 Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: CFR
Car #: 28
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Posts: 249
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The people watching at Walmart is worth the trip in my book.

--------------------
What does this button do??

Chris Windsor Verified Driver Made Donation to Website Series Champ
windsorcustoms.com

Region: WDCR,
Car #: 38
Year : 1991
Posts: 841
Status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by jbenoit28:
The people watching at Walmart is worth the trip in my book.

a lot like going to the races

--------------------
2011 Season schedule coming soon
Support, sales, repair or rental
windsorcustoms.com

Wreckerboy Verified Driver
Member

Region: WDC
Car #: SSM 53 "Lola"
Year : 1990
Posts: 464
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Ask and ye shall receive: The People Of Wal Mart

--------------------
Rob Myles
Hero To The Momentum Impaired

Chris Windsor Verified Driver Made Donation to Website Series Champ
windsorcustoms.com

Region: WDCR,
Car #: 38
Year : 1991
Posts: 841
Status: Offline
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only Rob and his spy cam

kinda like a train wreck, you really don't want to stare but you find it interesting

--------------------
2011 Season schedule coming soon
Support, sales, repair or rental
windsorcustoms.com

Keith in WA Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
Pack Fodder

Region: NWR / Oregon
Car #: 88
Year : 95
Posts: 2000
Status: Offline
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Those pranks remind me of high school where we'd write funny ideas like that down on paper and then play poker. The winner of each hand gave one of theirs to the loser who after the game had to whatever goofy thing it was. Good fun but it almost got us into some major trouble a few times. [Big Grin]

Women aren't the only ones who can go a litte overboard shopping though. Today I went into Harbor Freight for $2 worth of magnets. I came out with 4 full bags of random consumables and odd tools.

--------------------
Keith Novak
(Will work for tires)

   

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