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Author Topic: Can you promote me to a faster run group - CLASSIC
Danny Steyn Verified Driver
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Region: SE
Car #: 39
Year : 1999
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Just in case you missed this - its going viral - friggin hilarious

Are you the one who can promote me to a faster run-group?

--------------------
Danny
http://www.dannysteyn.com
http://www.adeptstudios.com
OPM Autosports | Traqmate | Rossini Racing Engines
2010 June Sprints Champ, 2010 ARRC SMX Champ
2009 SARRC Champ, 2009 SEDiv ECR Champ, 2009 FES Champ
2008 SEDiv ECR Champ

pat slattery Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: cincy
Car #: 79
Year : 92
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Hilarious, but oh so true at times.

--------------------
keeping the faith for the 1.6

Arrow Karts

Jim Blaisdell
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Region: 83
Car #: 65
Year : 1994
Posts: 54
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This is the best!!!!
Every HPDE Club should make this a mandatory watch for anyone that's thinking about instructing.

--------------------
Jim Blaisdell
NASA FL Spec Miata Series Director
5XRacing Team Driver

Dusty Bottoms Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
99 all the way!

Region: Lone Star
Year : 1990
Posts: 4253
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LMAO!!

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"Your victory is tainted! Asterisk! Asterisk!!!"--Lisa Simpson

Dusty Bottoms Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
99 all the way!

Region: Lone Star
Year : 1990
Posts: 4253
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Did you see it has one thumb-down? I wonder if that is from a Koenigsegg driver?

--------------------
"Your victory is tainted! Asterisk! Asterisk!!!"--Lisa Simpson

Dawson
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I would have loved to be able to show this to my student from last weekend, the one with the 600hp Integra Type R, with no safety modifications.

Jamie Tucker Series Champ

ARRC 2010 Champ

Region: CFR
Car #: 97
Year : 1990/99
Posts: 788
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That is the funniest video I have seen in a longtime! Thanks for sharing. [Smile]

--------------------
2010 ARRC Champion
2010 CFR Champion
2010 instigator of the year
2010/2011 Andrew Von C Wingman

Teamfour Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: WDCR
Car #: 04
Year : 1993
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That was great!

--------------------
Lee Tilton
1993 Meowta #04
Brimtek Motorsports/ Team Four Racing
Team Four Racing

John Hammer Palazzolo Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
I'm not slow, I'm maximizing my track time!

Region: NASA SE
Car #: 88
Year : '90
Posts: 395
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Oh man, I've been that guy... Uh, the instructor guy, not the supercar guy!

--------------------
John "Hammer" Palazzolo

Automotive Event Facilitator
Performance Driving Instructor
JohnHammer.org
877.HEY.0005

fleming Made Donation to Website
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Region: northeast
Year : 90
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Danny that is a classic however.. Seems this SCCA spec miata driver has some talents that got him a black flag in a LeMons race.. How do you moon the corner workers while driving?

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6176573

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"where one ends, one shall begin".

Greg Kimble Verified Driver
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Region: CFR
Car #: 81
Year : 1994
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great video

Gatoratty Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Too funny and too true!

--------------------
Paul McLester

Alex Bolanos Verified Driver Series Champ
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Car #: 18
Year : 1994
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If I had a nickel for every time I've had that conversation with one of my students... GREAT find!

guest driver
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Car #: 47
Year : 94
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I fail to find any humor in these posts.
I cannot expect any of you to understand.
I operate on an entirely different level.
I only drive my new super car "flat out" at all times.
Since none of you have 130/118 like me,
you will all hold me up on the straights, blocking, weaving and carrying on like crazed banshees. Since you have no concern for your own personal safety, will crash into each other in front of me or, ... burst into flames.

I must immediately be placed in the fastest run group (the first position on the grid)
where i may practice my craft safely without concern for life or limb ...
and drive flat out at all times.
Thank you.
Richard Allistair
brand new yellow '99, custom built by XXX ...
[flamed]

Adroitracer Verified Driver
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Region: NER
Car #: 80
Year : 99
Posts: 100
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[rolling on floor laughin]

--------------------
Sponsors: Masy Systems, Inc (Validation/calibration/biostorage). http://www.masy.com
nanoCLEAN (Cleanroom cleaning services). http://www.nanoclean.us

Drago Verified Driver Made Donation to Website Series Champ
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Region: mid south
Car #: 2
Year : 1999
Posts: 4275
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so funny, so true

--------------------
Jim Drago
East Street Auto Salvage
jdrago1@aol.com
2006-2007 Mid-West Division
07,09 June Sprints Champion

EAST STREET RACING

Capt. John
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Region: FL.
Car #: # 27 ITA
Year : 1986
Posts: 136
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Unfortunately more and more driver wana-bees with this type of attitude are showing at the Track Days, HPDE's and motorsport events put on by the many different clubs and organizations. My suggestion to whoever is in charge: ask the clown to look at his gold Rolex with the diamond bezel and note the correct time, because he has exactly 20 min. to pack up and get his arrogant arse out the gate. These types are not nice to deal with and do nothing to enhance the sucess of an event.

Capt.John

wheel Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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I have instructed in performance driving events since 1995, for SCCA, PCA, Audi, Vette, BMW clubs, including as Chief Instructor for the last ten years at Heartland Park, and have rarely run across this type of driver. 99% of the drivers have been enthusiastic and receptive to instruction. Most just want to have fun and go fast. Granted, this is funny as hell, but fortunately an exception, rather than the rule.

wheel

Johnny D Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: SFR
Car #: 88 SM
Year : 99
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Yes, very few, but I had one.
I was doing a track day, after the session I hear this guy yelling and throwing his helmet, etc. He had a Porsche.

We asked him what was wrong and he said, 3 different shops that had worked on his car and he spent so much money and all of them were ripping him off because the car drives like a dump truck.

One other Porsche driver came over and offered to take the car out and tell him what was wrong. He agreed. The guy goes out and get top lap time of the day, come back in, throws him the keys and says "Well it's not the car".

J~

wheel Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Year : 92
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I love it.

guest driver
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bleh ... so sorry, it's always the car, heat cycled out tires, incorrect shock settings, wrong ride heights, motor wouldn't pull ...
that thing does drive like a dump truck.
big fella; does that sound familiar? during your 'guest driver' stint @ the Sebring National in January this year??

Mr Richard Allistair has it going on, drives a 600 hp GT3 and has a new Mac-ler-in on order, 700 fans waiting on twitter, dood is the funk ...
he will be racing in the Rolex 24 at Daytona next year in a TRG Porshee ...
ya'll still be "instructing" for free beers ... i'll be working a free co drive and personal friend duty for his model girlfriend.
[Razz]

wheel Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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g.d.
What?
What are you doing with his model girlfriend?
I don't understand what you are saying. Does his 600 GT3 drive like a dump truck? Dude, you shouldn't use his name, putting him down like that.

cnj
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Car #: 32
Year : 1999
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Then there's the local DE club owner who had a very cocky student with his tricked Corvette insist that he be in the advanced group based on his "street racing" experience. I was not there that day but I am told this guy was really annoying. He demanded to know who was the fastest driver (generally agreed by the instructors to be the club owner) and asked him to prove it in his Corvette. My buddy the club owner said fine, get in the car and let's go out during the instructors group. A couple laps later he had to pull in, the guy literally fell out the car and proceeded to get so sick that the paramedics had to take him away. Apparently he kept muttering "that guy was nuts". As a bonus his girlfriend was there.

I'm with Wheel, the vast majority of my DE students really want to do a great job and any frustrations I have are typically relate my inability to morph my teaching style to thier individual learning styles.

Craig J

guest driver
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Year : 94
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wheel;
nooow ya on the right path ...
anytime any mega bucks shows up and wants to be moved to the fastest run group ... a moving he shall go ... get with the program, must have Kevin @ TRG on speed dial, a Rolex 24 wees a going ...
i'll take the #2 drive anytime, someone has to keep the GF satisfied while "mega bucks" is busy ...
[Wink]

Dusty Bottoms Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
99 all the way!

Region: Lone Star
Year : 1990
Posts: 4253
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quote:
Originally posted by Drago:
so funny, so true

I bet we're thinking of the same guy. [Big Grin]

--------------------
"Your victory is tainted! Asterisk! Asterisk!!!"--Lisa Simpson

wheel Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: kc
Car #: 20
Year : 92
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Ok, I have one. Young guy with a brand new Miata. It had about 200 miles on it. Saturday the instructor was having all kinds of problems with this guy. He couldn't get the concept of any of it. Braking point, turn in, apex...... nothing. It started raining that afternoon, while the regional races were going on. The PDX was last group of the day. I had a talk with the guy and told him to pack it in for the day and I would take him out, personally, for the first session on Sunday morning. I thought I could tune him up, with no real problem.
I left, since nobody was going out for the final session. The next morning I learned that he had gone out and destroyed the car. I didn't see it, but there was not one single piece of unwrinkled sheet metal. He got off, into the wet grass, and hit the wall with the right front. It snapped around and then hit every corner, including all the lights, front and rear, and two of the wheels. It was his brother's car.

Dusty Bottoms Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
99 all the way!

Region: Lone Star
Year : 1990
Posts: 4253
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quote:
Originally posted by cnj:
Then there's the local DE club owner who had a very cocky student with his tricked Corvette insist that he be in the advanced group based on his "street racing" experience. I was not there that day but I am told this guy was really annoying. He demanded to know who was the fastest driver (generally agreed by the instructors to be the club owner) and asked him to prove it in his Corvette. My buddy the club owner said fine, get in the car and let's go out during the instructors group. A couple laps later he had to pull in, the guy literally fell out the car and proceeded to get so sick that the paramedics had to take him away. Apparently he kept muttering "that guy was nuts". As a bonus his girlfriend was there.


That just made my evening. [rolling on floor laughin]

--------------------
"Your victory is tainted! Asterisk! Asterisk!!!"--Lisa Simpson

guest driver
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OK, i have another one.
1999, super cool old guy with a tricked out Lingenfelter Camaro, twin turbos, over 800 hp, rents out Moroso and shows up with XYZ as his personal instructor.
Having no car racing experience, dude didn't last but 5 laps before he destroyed that $90,000 Camaro.
Not to worry, he has one shrewd instructor, who sells him a brand new race car to race a few SCCA Regionals and learn how to drive, the next year 2000, they're both racing Porsche's in Grand Am Cup, two years after that, they're both racing DP's in the Rolex Series.
XYZ establishes a very successful business, still going strong today.
Moral to this true story; The customer is always right!

D.B. Cutler Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: Detroit
Car #: 5
Year : 1991
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I once passed a yellow T1 Corvette at Grattan on the straight with my '91. It seemed so wrong but I was laughing so hard I almost missed Turn 1.

Keith in WA Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
Pack Fodder

Region: NWR / Oregon
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Year : 95
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It's not just students. I've unwittingly hopped in an instructors car and observed them butchering an autox course with their exotic european auto. Tried to give a couple friendly pointers on how just trying to beat the course into submission just makes it slower and harder. Disgusted reply...I'm an INSTRUCTOR and Porches just do that.

I kept my mouth shut but was thinking, you may be an instructor, and that may be a really fast car, but you still drove like shit.

--------------------
Keith Novak
(Will work for tires)

racinglawyer Verified Driver
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Region: NEPA
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Year : 1997
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Great Video...Thanks for sharing...One day at Pocono a guy had a rented Camero for Hertz, had a New York city address, spun the car with me in it and turned white and admitted he never drove on a track before..He asked if I would drive it back to the pits...I said this will be like learning to Ski...if you can't handle the hill, you take your boots off and walk or slide the rest of the way...I said we're walking in after this session is over...needless to say he drove it back in and we both learned a lot that day.I never told him he scared the HELL out of me.

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BE SAFE GO FAST HAVE FUN
Love "the commander" Mike Cefalo

tony senese Verified Driver
Phew, that was close!

Car #: 99
Year : 1994
Posts: 836
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Nothing like money in your pocket to make you stupid.... I'm just sayin....

--------------------
Tony Senese
SM#99
2008 NASA-NE SM Champion
NASA-NE SM Director
2008 PRO-IT SM 3rd place
http://www.nosenseyet.com/coppermine

Qik Nip Verified Driver Made Donation to Website Series Champ
Loose Member '09 & '10 Great Lakes Regional Points Champion

Region: Cincinnati Great Lakes
Car #: 60
Year : 1990
Posts: 1487
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Having first participated in, then later instructed in numerous HPDE events, the sad truth is that on average the more expensive the car, the worse it is piloted.
Rick

--------------------
Fortune Cookie Racing SM 60
Directions for use: Race, Rumple, Repair ... Repeat!

wheel Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Region: kc
Car #: 20
Year : 92
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and the smaller the penis.

Gibscreen Verified Driver Series Champ
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Region: NASA-SoCal
Car #: 23
Year : 1995
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I was setting up our scale stands at the track this past weekend. A Corvette guy comes up, looks at the Miata and the distance between the stands and says in his best sarcastic tone: "I think you need to add a few inches onto your wheelbase."

I say, "That's funny, because whenever I talk to Corvette guys, they're usually the ones who need to add a few inches."

When he laughed I knew he was an okay guy.

--------------------
Rob Gibson
RJ Racing
2010 NASA Nationals TTE Champion
2008/2009 WERC Champion
2007 NASA SoCal SM Champion
rjracing.net
Weekend-Racer.com

d mathias Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Car #: 88
Year : 1991
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Brian Till was the guest speaker at a NASA banquet a few years ago. He said when he instructed he always told his students, "Don't try to impress me because you won't. And don't try to scare me because I already am."

d mathias Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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Let me get this straight Carlos, you get to co-drive the girlfriend?

Qik Nip Verified Driver Made Donation to Website Series Champ
Loose Member '09 & '10 Great Lakes Regional Points Champion

Region: Cincinnati Great Lakes
Car #: 60
Year : 1990
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quote:
Originally posted by wheel:
and the smaller the penis.

So by definition we are all huge? That must be the reason all the hot, leggy chicks are constantly hanging around my SM at the track. No wait, that's in my dreams!
Rick

--------------------
Fortune Cookie Racing SM 60
Directions for use: Race, Rumple, Repair ... Repeat!

guest driver
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Region: 011
Car #: 47
Year : 94
Posts: 488
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quote:
Originally posted by d mathias:
Let me get this straight Carlos, you get to co-drive the girlfriend?

Yes, back in the day, another life time ago, that was the best 'ride' of my life ...
oh, also got to drive the race car too, for free.
Alas, that was eons ago, today, wouldn't know what to do with it, probably blow up on the out lap ...
[Roll Eyes]

Danny Steyn Verified Driver
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Car #: 39
Year : 1999
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quote:
Originally posted by guest driver:
quote:
Originally posted by d mathias:
Let me get this straight Carlos, you get to co-drive the girlfriend?

wouldn't know what to do with it, probably blow up on the out lap ...
[Roll Eyes]

[rolling on floor laughin] [rolling on floor laughin] [rolling on floor laughin]

--------------------
Danny
http://www.dannysteyn.com
http://www.adeptstudios.com
OPM Autosports | Traqmate | Rossini Racing Engines
2010 June Sprints Champ, 2010 ARRC SMX Champ
2009 SARRC Champ, 2009 SEDiv ECR Champ, 2009 FES Champ
2008 SEDiv ECR Champ

Alex Bolanos Verified Driver Series Champ
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Car #: 18
Year : 1994
Posts: 202
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quote:
Originally posted by guest driver:
quote:
Originally posted by d mathias:
Let me get this straight Carlos, you get to co-drive the girlfriend?

Yes, back in the day, another life time ago, that was the best 'ride' of my life ...
oh, also got to drive the race car too, for free.
Alas, that was eons ago, today, wouldn't know what to do with it, probably blow up on the out lap ...
[Roll Eyes]

bahahahaha

fleming Made Donation to Website
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Year : 90
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quote:
Originally posted by wheel:
and the smaller the penis.

Boy you are not kidding about that one, my first time on the track was with NASA SE at CMP, I rented a Mustang from Budget.. The guy in my HPDE1 group shows up in a new Noble and with the mechanic and dressed head to toe in PUMA firesuit and shoes. On three separate occasions, somehow he got turned around and was facing the wrong way with approaching traffic..
His mad "driving" skills were never discussed but his fancy driving suit, gloves and the Nobel was..

--------------------
"where one ends, one shall begin".

Jim Blaisdell
Member

Region: 83
Car #: 65
Year : 1994
Posts: 54
Status: Offline
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In the tradition of Jeff Foxworthy.....

"You might be a Richard Allistar....if you show up to any track event with a car that is one of anything limited edition."

"You might be a Richard Allistar....if you describe your "mad" driving abilities as "Flat-Out""

--------------------
Jim Blaisdell
NASA FL Spec Miata Series Director
5XRacing Team Driver

d mathias Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
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quote:
Originally posted by wheel:
and the smaller the penis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy you are not kidding about that one, my first time on the track was with NASA SE at CMP, I rented a Mustang from Budget.. The guy in my HPDE1 group shows up in a new Noble and with the mechanic and dressed head to toe in PUMA firesuit and shoes. On three separate occasions, somehow he got turned around and was facing the wrong way with approaching traffic..
His mad "driving" skills were never discussed but his fancy driving suit, gloves and the Nobel was..

When did you see his penis? [Razz] [Big Grin] [duck]

fleming Made Donation to Website
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quote:
Originally posted by d mathias:
quote:
Originally posted by wheel:
and the smaller the penis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy you are not kidding about that one, my first time on the track was with NASA SE at CMP, I rented a Mustang from Budget.. The guy in my HPDE1 group shows up in a new Noble and with the mechanic and dressed head to toe in PUMA firesuit and shoes. On three separate occasions, somehow he got turned around and was facing the wrong way with approaching traffic..
His mad "driving" skills were never discussed but his fancy driving suit, gloves and the Nobel was..

When did you see his penis? [Razz] [Big Grin] [duck]
I never said that.. The original comment was about over compensating with expensive cars for lacking on personality..

--------------------
"where one ends, one shall begin".

Muda Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
ComingToAMirrorNearYou

Region: WDC
Car #: #23
Year : 1991
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Sounded to me like it was seen. [shame] [shame]

--------------------
Muda Motorsports
"We're all here 'cause we're not all there."

guest driver
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Region: 011
Car #: 47
Year : 94
Posts: 488
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quote:
Originally posted by Danny Steyn:
quote:
Originally posted by guest driver:
quote:
Originally posted by d mathias:
Let me get this straight Carlos, you get to co-drive the girlfriend?

wouldn't know what to do with it, probably blow up on the out lap ...
[Roll Eyes]

[rolling on floor laughin] [rolling on floor laughin] [rolling on floor laughin]
hey Steyn, what you laughing at? you're an old goat just like me ...
[duck]

at our age, we can look at it, think about it, take photos of it (in your case), marvel at the natural beauty of that 'body by Pininfarina', anything you want except jump in the cockpit and take her out for a ride ...
[flamed]
don't care how many safety layers of nomex you have on, big toyo radiator for extra cooling, camelback with a gallon of water hooked up to the bed post, half a lap and you're done ...
Those days of taking em out for a pole position qualifying session, banging it off the rev limiter in every gear, lap after lap, just a memory ... that thrill ride is reseved for young pups like Bo-lawn-yos over there.
[nope]
don't believe me? try it, i can clearly hear Fowler over the radio, " uh Danny, you're smoking real bad, all your gauges are pegged, and we're still on the pace lap, please pit at once".
[Wink]

Scottie
Member

Region: WDCR
Car #: sm 19
Year : 93
Posts: 199
Status: Offline
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hahaha this is too much. Thank god im still young.

And I was really looking forward to running enduros when I got older.... guess not.

--------------------
How do I fit this ls7 into my mia... nevermind.

Motor City Hamilton
Member

Region: Great Lakes/Detroit
Car #: 51
Year : 1994 Miata
Posts: 401
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quote:
Originally posted by guest driver:
quote:
Originally posted by Danny Steyn:
quote:
Originally posted by guest driver:
quote:
Originally posted by d mathias:
Let me get this straight Carlos, you get to co-drive the girlfriend?

wouldn't know what to do with it, probably blow up on the out lap ...
[Roll Eyes]

[rolling on floor laughin] [rolling on floor laughin] [rolling on floor laughin]
hey Steyn, what you laughing at? you're an old goat just like me ...
[duck]

at our age, we can look at it, think about it, take photos of it (in your case), marvel at the natural beauty of that 'body by Pininfarina', anything you want except jump in the cockpit and take her out for a ride ...
[flamed]
don't care how many safety layers of nomex you have on, big toyo radiator for extra cooling, camelback with a gallon of water hooked up to the bed post, half a lap and you're done ...
Those days of taking em out for a pole position qualifying session, banging it off the rev limiter in every gear, lap after lap, just a memory ... that thrill ride is reseved for young pups like Bo-lawn-yos over there.
[nope]
don't believe me? try it, i can clearly hear Fowler over the radio, " uh Danny, you're smoking real bad, all your gauges are pegged, and we're still on the pace lap, please pit at once".
[Wink]

Wait... you are describing a lap in the car, right, not a lap in bed with the girl???

Steve D. Verified Driver Made Donation to Website
Once you get past the gag reflex, the jelly ain't bad!

Region: Atlanta
Car #: 30
Year : 1999
Posts: 652
Status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by guest driver:
don't believe me? try it, i can clearly hear Fowler over the radio, " uh Danny, you're smoking real bad, all your gauges are pegged, and we're still on the pace lap, please pit at once".
[Wink]

Except HE would be out of breath if he even heard somebody ELSE doing it.

Gives a whole new meaning to "Box. This lap." [scratchchin]

 
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